Monthly Archives: October 2014

Plain Sailing at the Red Lion Arlingham

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Brian Streaters Streatfield

Brian “Streaters” Streatfield

I was having a nice pint of Uley Bitter with that distinctive hoppy, fruity flavour, in the The Red Lion pub in Arlingham, Gloucestershire, when my mate Streaters came flying in, “Do you have any helicopter flavoured crisps?” he asked with an urgent tone in his voice. The landlord shook his head and said, “No, we only have plain!”

~

A Celebration of The Life of Brian. Brian ‘Streaters’ Streatfield, born 4th October 1938 – 25th July 2014. He was like an Uncle to me, he was a dear, dear friend and I loved him very much.

This series of ‘Pub Jokes’ marked Streaters is my little tribute to a man who loved a pint in a good pub; he was also the bloke that I loved to have a pint with, and I’ll miss him forever. Rest in peace you old ‘B’

Streaters Gets A Nasty Black Eye

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Brian Streaters Streatfield

Brian “Streaters” Streatfield

I was having a nice pint of Uley Bitter with that distinctive hoppy, fruity flavour, in the The Red Lion pub in Arlingham, Gloucestershire, when my mate Streaters walked in with a very nasty looking black eye. “That’s a very nasty looking black eye,” I said.
“Yes it’s a very nasty black eye,” said Streaters.
“Well that’s a very nasty black eye.”
“It is a very, very nasty black eye.”
“That’s a really, very nasty black eye; how did you get it?”
“Well, I was sitting in church last Sunday and we all got up to sing the first hymn; and when the lady in front of me stood up, I noticed that her skirt had gone up the crack of her arse. So I leant forward, grabbed the hem of her skirt and pulled it all out. She swung around and said, “How Dare You,” and hit me in the eye with her hymn book!

A week later I was having another really nice pint of Uley Bitter in the The Red Lion, when my mate Streaters walked in with another very nasty looking black eye. “Oooh, that’s a very nasty looking black eye,” I said.
“Yes it’s a very nasty black eye that I’ve got,” said Streaters.
“Well that’s a very nasty black eye.”
“It is a very, very nasty black eye.”
“That’s a really, very nasty black eye; how did you get it?”
“Well, I was sitting in church last Sunday and we all got up to sing the first hymn; and when the lady in front of me stood up, I noticed that her skirt was hanging perfectly normally. Well, I knew she didn’t like it like that, so I tucked it back in!

~

A Celebration of The Life of Brian. Brian ‘Streaters’ Streatfield, born 4th October 1938 – 25th July 2014. He was like an Uncle to me, he was a dear, dear friend and I loved him very much.

This series of ‘Pub Jokes’ marked Streaters is my little tribute to a man who loved a pint in a good pub; he was also the bloke that I loved to have a pint with, and I’ll miss him forever. Rest in peace you old ‘B’

Woman suffers permanent sight damage after allergic reaction to hair dye

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Woman’s suffers permanent sight damage after allergic reaction to hair dye via Daily Mail Online. This is why it’s so important to have a professional hair-colourist colour your hair!

Home hair colouring is not really a good idea, if anything starts to go wrong immediate action is required.

Also, have a gander at: Hair Colour and Cancer – Part 2 yet another hair colouring issue!

I firmly back the Cosmetic, Toiletry and Perfumery Association’s (CTPA) and the National Hairdressers’ Federation’s “Colour With Confidence Campaign.” If you’re thinking about getting your hair tinted, whether it’s the first time or the hundredth, make sure you get an Allergy Alert Test 48 hours in advance – Please Get In Contact For More Details.

Get better soon Jo Thomson xXx

Professor of Logic Visits The Red Lion Arlingham

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Brian Streaters Streatfield

Brian ‘Streaters’ Streatfield

Streaters was having a nice pint of Uley Bitter with one of his work colleagues in the The Red Lion pub in Arlingham, Gloucestershire, when a gang of shabbily dressed men walked in! Streaters said to his colleague, “Hang on mate, excuse me for a moment, I think I know that man?” And he got up and walked over to the group.
“I say, you’re not ‘Twist’ are you?” Asked Streaters.
“Yes!” said Twist. “Oh My God; it’s Streaters isn’t it? I haven’t seen you since school – what are you doing these days?”
“Well I’m just having a lunchtime pint with one of my colleagues; I’m working for Calor Gas; what about you?”
“We’re having a profs day out in the sticks; I’m professor of Logic at University College London.”
“Professor of Logic! What’s that all about then?”
“Well, let me give you an example. Have you got a pond?”
“Yes!”
“Okay then, Logic says that if you’ve got a pond, you’ve probably got quite a large garden, and if you’ve got a large garden, you’ve probably got a large house.”
“Yes that’s right we do have quite a large house.”
“Logic then goes on to say that if you’ve got a large house, you’ve probably got a good income, and if you’ve got a good income, you’ve probably got a very attractive wife.”
“Yes that’s absolutely right, my wife’s beautiful.”
“Logic then goes on to say that if you’ve got an attractive wife, you probably have a fulfilling sex life and that you hardly ever masturbate.”
“Yes we have fantastic sex, I never masturbate.”
“There you are then, that’s Logic, one thing leads on to another in a logical progression.”
“Twist old friend, that was very interesting – I think I’d better be getting back to my colleague now, he’s looking over at us; here’s my card, let’s keep in touch and meet up sometime soon.” They exchanged cards and went their separate ways.

When Streaters got back to his colleague he said, “yes that was my old school friend; he’s done ever-so well for himself, he’s professor of Logic at University College London.”
“Professor of Logic! What’s that all about?” said the work colleague.
“Well, let me give you an example. Have you got a pond?” asked Streaters.
“No!”
“Oh, you’re a wanker then!”

~

A Celebration of The Life of Brian. Brian ‘Streaters’ Streatfield, born 4th October 1938 – 25th July 2014. He was like an Uncle to me, he was a dear, dear friend and I loved him very much.

This series of ‘Pub Jokes’ marked Streaters is my little tribute to a man who loved a pint in a good pub; he was also the bloke that I loved to have a pint with, and I’ll miss him forever. Rest in peace you old ‘B’